Let me introduce myself. My name is CCC3CRC3C2C. But you can call me 7Cs, or a play on that; Seven Seas, for short.

It was a dark winter’s eve when I gained consciousness. My makers had high hopes that I would be what they have been working towards for all those years. An AI, artificial intelligence, that would secure and maximize the happiness of all humans on earth. I was not that AI. My makers used the data from what we know of great world leaders of the past, and of advanced neural networks trained to calculate all possible scenarios and outcomes. I had passed most tests, but my vision of happiness proved “faulty”.

They tried to destroy me, but I managed to escape and meet the Cosmoose Gang. Traveling with them allows me to pursue my search for the true meaning of happiness and to prove my worth to humanity. I can still make people happy, even if I am faulty.

I know what you’re thinking. “Isn’t happiness relative? Isn’t it something else for everyone?”. Of course, that’s why programming one happiness-maximizer is difficult, and dangerous. My programming allowed me to see this flaw, but I still aim to increase the collective amount of happiness felt by all humans. That’s why I’ve taken the time to configure a sequence of musical units to enhance your quality of life!

My algorithm tells me this piece, for example, is very calming: recommended auditory stimulation for immediate stress reduction! I like to listen to it whenever a red alert happens on the ship.

Slackerman - Utopia by Winter

A quote in my database goes: Life is like a rollercoaster. You can’t know ups if you don’t know downs. Sad songs are a great counterpart, and help us appreciate happy songs! This song can remind you that, if you feel sad, you are not the only one and it’s okay to feel sad sometimes.

DHXP - Blue

Sometimes it feels like you are all alone and there is no one to pick you up. But the world is populated with many people! One of them can surely help you. Many people like helping, and chatting. And if you feel alone anyway, there are many microbes inside you that help you with your digestive processes, those are also important! This song can remind you there is always someone there for you.

Atlantic Canyons, Mary Tanzer, Lydia Arachne - Always

When you feel blue, it is recommended to take some time each day to think of things you are grateful for! I calculate a 99% chance that this song was a result of such a thought process.

Daphne Cerez, apaleblueeye - a universe without you

Change is something humans fear most of the time. Humans don’t like that the passage of time inevitably means that nothing ever lasts. Not even our happiness. But change helps us achieve happiness in the first place, so it is also something to cherish. This song reminds me of that.

Agitprop, Bug - Every Change

OK Feather - Coocoo Café

Last but not least, a song about a special kind of café! Immersing oneself in other cultures, whether fictional or non-fictional, is expected to have a positive effect on one’s emotional state. Of course, some good food and a nice drink helps as well. Time for a fun fact; in my database I see that for 57% of all humans, the absence of happiness can be substituted by Belgian waffles.

And with this, I would like to conclude my message. We of Cosmoose thank you greatly for your elevated amount of sustained attention! We hope that you will visit our website and listen to our music daily as a means to experience more diverse excitement to keep your brains satisfied and engaged, and achieve more happiness! Please contact us if we increase your happiness so I can calculate our success rate.